Sunday, May 8, 2011

Does hope ever disperse?

Picture from michaeltotten.com

Hope, is it a word that has promise?
Is hope what your heart wants?
Reality is forever changing. Does this allow for endless possibilities and therefore hope.
Do you ever think hope is a double ended sword? Hope can give a feeling of excitement and optimism and it allows us to fantasise, feeds our desires and gives us a chance to get to that light at the end of the tunnel.
So what if reality threatens those deep seeded desires? What happens to hope then?
The perception of ourselves or our lives changes from a positive state to a less desirable one with the loss of hope.
I was struck today with the harsh reality, i had a false hope from my medications. When my body was failing me today on my walk with my family, i was slowly losing my grasp on hope. Shattered by the thought that my days of walking are numbered. With hope less loyal my emotions wobbled. I was heartbroken and almost hurt that hope had led me down the path of evil. A false promise which would chuckle with mockery at my falling from grace. Something that is a shared love between my husband and I and something that allows our children to play in the real playgrounds of life- the wilderness, is threatened by my physical capability.
Through glassy eyes i could see clearly my reality. It wasn't hopeful.
So what does happen when hope is lost?
But has it really been taken from me? I still have hope for my children and have desires to see them go through life living fully.
My Hope may be lost but with ever changing reality i may be walking with my four children and husband again one day. Maybe another mothers day as it was today. Isn't that hopeful??
If it never happens that we will be walking through the wilderness together again what a special mothers day that one was. And it was with all my very special people in the whole world. xxx

2 comments:

  1. Hope does not have to be long term, living too far in the future you miss out on the today. Each day that you have needs to be held close to your heart and cherished as you live and love it.

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