Picture from wondoflex.com.au
It has often been just a fleeting thought why I feel I have to create things. It has never really been something I have ever answered as it never really mattered. Such things that involve creating bring me joy. Need there be any other reason. Well for me, the me that has to look into everything deeper than necessary, there has to be a reason. What is in it for me along with joy?
As I pondered these words came to mind; rewarding, self gratification, accomplishment, ownership, self worth, living in the moment and finally the material thing is what I need the most. HUH??
The final product is what I need the most, as evidence I am still existing in the world. The world exists of many people who are busy in their daily lives having interactions with colleagues, friends, strangers, retailers, etc. Gaining praise and feedback and information to expand their knowledge. After long days and on returning home, one might feel some accomplishment because they managed to get all done on their TO DO LIST today. Or after many hours revising for an exam the student has breezed through it and felt the sense of satisfaction that they studied instead of partying with friends. Or that the gardener has planted all the plants required for that day and felt rewarded when looking back on their work seeing their fruits for their labour. These are all little things that are enriching to a human being. It is what is needed to keep people motivated and help people build confidence, build character and skill. I am somewhat missing out on the loop (as I'm sure others are too). I exist but not out there in the world.
As I sat in the hospital cafe today waiting for my daughters appointment, all around me I could see that a whole world exists when I am sitting at home and might for days sometimes, not even venture outside. There is doctors and nurses on tea breaks, cleaners scooting around cleaning tables and emptying bins, just people being in the moment in their jobs and being out there as part of the world.
So this is why I create, so I have something solid that reminds me, I still exist in this loop. I just find these common human needs in different ways, as each of us will have to one day when no longer able to do all the things we once could. Only I am doing it sooner. My crochet hats and bags are putting parts of myself and spreading it around the home to remind me that I am here and I still have talents that bring me joy but also self gratification, reward, self worth etc. I can look at an item I created and it can conjure up those feelings without any acknowledgment. Like a person that feels self worth that they have a job, its not something they think of all the time but it is deep seeded in the emotions that that person holds. Its what makes up that person as a whole, a piece of the cake.
My final product or creation is what makes up me, not entirely but an important chunk of me. I am a visual person so it makes sense that what I do to gain these feelings or emotions is something concrete.
I only have to look at wool and feel at home. Weird but true.