Thursday, February 3, 2011


Last night as I lay with my husband in bed, he said to me "are you nervous about going to see the specialist tomorrow". I wasn't until he said that.
I lay, as he drifted off to sleep, with a stabbing pain in my chest and my heart thumping under my chest cavity. Anxiety.
And so the conversation with myself followed.
I may not make it through the next minute or hour let alone the night, so it is unnecessary to panic. Right now I can enjoy the soft pillow under my head, my body being at total rest, my babes sleeping soundly, the gentle breeze on my bare skin from the refreshing fan (after so many hot and sticky days and nights). Right now I can be happy and content and with no worry because the only moment I have is now, tomorrow may never come and this would then be a moment I wasted with unnecessary worry.
The pains dispersed and my heart beat a little slower. I relaxed into a blissful dream.

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